Jumping the Shrek – Curse of the Fourthquel

I remember a time when only straight-to-video animated family films had three or more sequels. I made jokes when The Land Before Time 4 was being released over fifteen years ago, but at least back then fourth-quels knew their place. The recession has recently made Hollywood choose only what seems commercially viable over something with merit. In my opinion they should stick to trilogies. Beyond that you're jumping the shark, like Shrek.

I'll admit I kinda liked the new Shrek 4 movie, but only because that awesome animator guy that voiced Rumpelstiltskin did such a great job, (seriously, watch the movie someday, he's amazing in it.) They promised it would be the last Shrek movie. It was implied in the two different names they called the film on posters, trailers, billboards, breakfast cereals, candy, soda, nail polish, etc. Whether they were calling it "Shrek: Forever After" or "Shrek: The Final Chapter" it was clear to me that it would stop after this. My cost of admission was in a way a contract where I'm agreeing to let this overstep of film-making boundaries go on as long as it was going to be the last one.

They later had a TV special named "Scared Shrekless" (yes that is a play on scared shitless for a children's program,) but that was on Television and not in theaters. That is it's place. They could do hundreds more straight-to-video sequels or theme park 4D movie attractions for the rest of time for all I care... To put a new one in theaters though? That would be jumping the Shrek, even for Shrek.

Coming to theaters this November: "Puss in Boots" the movie.

Like the clever Rumpelstiltskin, Dreamworks has managed to find a loophole in my contract by making a new Shrek movie only without Shrek in it. Touche.

It got me wondering... When has the fourth film in a series been the best in a series? Or even second best? Third best? Usually it's the fourth film that destroys a series or at least becomes the black sheep of the family. Let's run through some examples, shall we?

Jaws: The Revenge 1987 - The offspring (or close family friend) of a shark that was killed by Chief Brody over a decade earlier chases the remaining Brody family members from New England to the Caribbean to get its revenge. "This time it's personal." The original taught us not to go in the water, this one tells us sharks have an incredible memory, facial recognition skills, and a deep desire to avenge the death of a loved one.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace 1987 - Superman fights nuclear weapons in this awful movie. Do you remember it?
Psycho IV: The Beginning 1990 - This was a prequel that took place before the first one but after Anthony Perkins looked old. Most of it takes place on a radio show talking about the past, meaning it's super boring. Why they even made any sequels to Psycho in the first place is beyond me.
The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1994 - Keep re-making this movie, I'm sure someone will go see it this time. Matthew McConaughey and Renée Zellweger starred in this before they were famous so it got some play at the video store. This movie is like a demented version of The Klumps, only funnier.
The Next Karate Kid 1994 - It's a girl this time and hilarity ensues. Starring Hillary Swank as a girl.
Hellraiser: Bloodline 1996 - Hellraiser in space. Nuff said.
Alien: Resurrection 1997 - This one isn't that bad actually. The Alien movies always end up with good directors (Ridley Scott, James Cameron, and David Fincher) and each bring their own distinct style. Director Jean-Pierre Jeunet and writer Joss Whedon bring a new fresh approach this time, but as compared to the previous films the fourth is the weakest in my opinion. The alien isn't scary anymore and the story is so wacked-out by now that I don't even care.
Batman & Robin 1997 - George Clooney is the worst Batman. Joel Schumacher's versions were definitely the gayest of the Batman movies (could have done without nipples on the Batsuit.) This film ended the series dead in its tracks and caused the Batman films to go away until the reboot eight years later... Oh wait, they made that comedic bondage porn movie "Catwoman" starring Halle Berry before "Batman Begins." Remember it! Feel it's awfulness come back to you. Here watch this.
Lethal Weapon 4 1998 - If they were 'getting too old for this shit' ten years earlier, they're certainly too old for it now, and it's getting old to watch.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 1999 - You can't tell me this is really the first in the series and that "A New Hope" is actually the fourth film because this one came out in 1999 and that one came out in 1977. That's basic timeology. The Phantom Menace is probably one of the worst films of all time, if measured by how it lived up to it's audience's anticipation. Plus it's a shitty movie regardless.

NOTE: Star Wars 4 is so bad, no one dares to make another fourth-quel for years.

Exorcist: The Beginning 2004 - What's with fourthquels calling themselves The Begining? The first one was the beginning, duh. Should be called The Superfluous. This is the second version of the third Exorcist sequel. Figure that out.
Scary Movie 4 2006 - I don't care if they keep making these movies. I like them. It's not as if the first Scary Movie carries much respectability to be tarnished.
Live Free or Die Hard 2007 - Didn't see this one but it's got Justin Long and Timothy Olyphant in it so it's just got to be good.
Saw IV 2007 - If you saw one of them, you saw all of them... and one too many.
Rambo 2008 - Audiences only like Stallone as either Rambo or Rocky, so I let those movies slide. It's the only way he gets any positive attention.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 2008 - We all saw what happened. No need to go into detail.

NOTE: Indie 4 is bad, yet the production of fourth-quels curiously continues to increase.

Terminator Salvation 2009 - Kind of like a reboot, but still next in the linear storyline. Easily forgetable film but I enjoyed Christian Bale in it, and I hate Christian Bale. The third film remains the worst of the series by far.
Fast & Furious 2009 - You can't release a movie called "The Fast and the Furious" and then later a sequel named "Fast & Furious" without some confusion. It's almost as if they're trying to purposefully mislead us or something. (Or just make us forget about Tokyo Drift.)
The Final Destination 2009 - The worst movie of the year. This was like a spoof of the previous Final Destination films but without being funny like Scary Movie was to Scream, and without being scary like the prior Final Destinations. In other words, it's worthless.
Resident Evil: Afterlife 2010 - Had to cash in on the 3D craze. They're working on a fifth now. Personally I think the movies look more fake than the video games.
Scream 4 2011 - Haven't seen it yet. Probably going to enjoy it. The third was so bad I want to see Wes Craven (at least) try to fix the series. Besides it needs to keep up with the franchise that's spoofing it, Scary Movie is already working on their fifth installment now.

For decades the fourth film was rare and reserved for cheesy horror movies, films based on a continuing storyline such as Star Trek, or serials like James Bond. At least back then it was sparse and restricted to certain genres. Then for awhile it expanded to more genres but was usually limited to the straight-to-video market. Ain't nobody gonna go see "American Pie Presents Band Camp" in theaters, but it'll do well on cable.

You can see from the list above that it's starting to become more frequent. Nowadays, every other film released seems to be a sequel or a spin-off or a reboot. Here are some more forthcoming fourth-quels (and fifth-quels) to undoubtedly destroy any last bits of dignity and credibility their franchises may have had left.

Fast Five (The Fast and the Furious 5)
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (4th film)
X-Men: First Class (reboot, 5th film, or 4th not counting Origins: Wolverine)
Final Destination 5
Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World
Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol (4th film)
The Amazing Spider-Man (4th/reboot technically)
Ice Age: Continental Drift (4th film)
The Bourne Legacy (4th film)
Resident Evil 5
Jurassic Park 4 (Joe Johnston reboot - not greenlit yet, but he claims he's doing it, and wants to start a new trilogy)

They have us by the balls really. These are often characters we love that they're messing with. We feel compelled to watch a new chapter in our favorite character's lives when it's released, despite whether or not it's going to be a good movie. And the movie studios know it. They take a first film's ability to connect to the audience and they milk it for every drop they can, until it stops being profitable. Then they wait ten years until we miss it and try again. (Or lately, just reboot it midstream like Spiderman.)

Sex and the City spent seven years cultivating a huge following on HBO, and it earned it by having a quality program. Now their prize for a job well done apparently is to make an endless number of terrible movies that we'll continue to pay to see. No matter how angry I may be about the last two, I am sure I will go see "Sex and the City 4: Bitches in Space" when it comes to theaters in a few years. Because I am invested, no matter how stupid it gets.

What's worse is this may only be the beginning of a trend. If they know they can get away with number four, they'll release number five, and six... Not just stories that necessitate a large number of films like the Harry Potter series, but they will release crap that no one is asking for. Look at Meet the Parents/Fockers/Little Fockers for example. Do we really need to keep checking in on that family this often?

We've hit a tipping point now, a perfect storm of events culminating in the fourth film phenomena. The driving force here is that Hollywood is afraid of taking any risks during a recession. But there are other factors as well. As humans we are living longer, and stay healthier later in life than we ever have before. This means we have a lot of aging actors with no roles to play except the ones we've pigeonholed them into. They are healthy enough to keep acting decades longer than they used to and the landscape is adapting to accommodate them.

The newest contributing factor is that the stigma seems to be fading. When movies like "Police Academy 4" or "Scary Movie 4" came out they were somewhat poking fun at themselves for making a fourth film. Usually, respectable movies wouldn't even include the number 4 in the title (unless it was in Roman numerals to make it look more distinguished,) but even that era is ending. There's no need to hide the fact that it's a fourth film anymore. Public opinion has shifted and I am not pleased with its direction. The only thing I can do is not pay to see any fourth-quels, and be left behind in the times. At least I'm going to save a lot of money.